7/12

Full Moon Friday.

I am very thankful that today was a rest day. I started feeling a little sick on Thursday and Friday mornings 2.50am wake up call hit me harder than usual. During led practice I felt sluggish, tired, and cranky. The only thing that made me smile was during utpluthih with snot running down my face, I put myself down to blow my nose and Sharath clearly said,..”uuu Jill…” I smiled. Even getting yelled at by name here makes you happy.

I miss home and Mike.

The longest I have spent in Mysore is 7 weeks and on Sunday I will start my 8th week of practice. Will I turn into a pumpkin? My biggest hope is that I have my practice split this week. The current length of two hours is starting to take its toll. So many friends have left or are in their final stages and will be leaving this coming week. The energy is changing.

One of the first posts I wrote from here quoted two students talking about how Guruji would break down the three month practice period. First month tired, second month pain, and third month flying. This second month has been painful but not in my body. My practice is strong, and body pain free. I marvel at how amazing this method is for change. The pain that I am finding is in my heart. I am finding that I am increasingly sensitive to my environment. The pain I see in others I feel directly. The doubt that I feel is strong. I have no idea what is next, or how the process will change me….and this is causing me pain. Flying seems way more than just a week or so away, but we’ll see.

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